I felt an odd twinge of emotions as I looked back down the hill toward's Hengist's hut. I'd finished what I set out to do, both in terms of physical tasks and reflecting on what I was to do in the future. I've restocked the log pile and the larder to the best of my abilities, but will need to return in the spring with assistance to resow the vegetable garden.
My business here is done for the moment, but I feel conflicted at departing. There is such peace here, but I know the purpose of this place is not to be one's sanctuary from all the world's ills. Hengist did not retreat here indefinitely and neither shall I.
I finished my carving of Hengist two days ago and resisted the urge to render him with his face resting in his palm, as much as the thought amused me. I've tried to capture his good humour and energy. The drive which his leadership brought to the faction and his keen mind.
I finished the carving two days ago and since then I've found myself staring at blank pieces of wall and wondering if my face will go up there one day and who will carve it. I worry that perhaps I am the only one who knows of this place and who will continue it after I am gone? Yet, I do not know how to begin telling others of this place or what occasion might warrant my doing so.
In my heart, I also know that I do not want to carve more faces into the wood of this hut, although I fear the continuation of the task is inevitable. At least, as the walls of the hut are a memorial for the Lions, I might be spared the pain carving one face into these walls, but that would mean I would only create a memorial somewhere else. I was staggered by how profoundly the emotion struck me that this was not an event I wished to live to see.
It was that revelation that prompted me this morning to gather my things and prepare to leave. I have promises to fulfil back in the world and I will meet those promises or die trying.
But, more than anything, I have a purpose beyond that now.
Something beautiful to live for.
Someone to protect beyond all other things.
I looked down the hill one more time as the morning sunlight scattered across the waves and felt its warmth caress me in the dappled light playing through the trees. I will return here when the need arises, but now I have work to do.
My business here is done for the moment, but I feel conflicted at departing. There is such peace here, but I know the purpose of this place is not to be one's sanctuary from all the world's ills. Hengist did not retreat here indefinitely and neither shall I.
I finished my carving of Hengist two days ago and resisted the urge to render him with his face resting in his palm, as much as the thought amused me. I've tried to capture his good humour and energy. The drive which his leadership brought to the faction and his keen mind.
I finished the carving two days ago and since then I've found myself staring at blank pieces of wall and wondering if my face will go up there one day and who will carve it. I worry that perhaps I am the only one who knows of this place and who will continue it after I am gone? Yet, I do not know how to begin telling others of this place or what occasion might warrant my doing so.
In my heart, I also know that I do not want to carve more faces into the wood of this hut, although I fear the continuation of the task is inevitable. At least, as the walls of the hut are a memorial for the Lions, I might be spared the pain carving one face into these walls, but that would mean I would only create a memorial somewhere else. I was staggered by how profoundly the emotion struck me that this was not an event I wished to live to see.
It was that revelation that prompted me this morning to gather my things and prepare to leave. I have promises to fulfil back in the world and I will meet those promises or die trying.
But, more than anything, I have a purpose beyond that now.
Something beautiful to live for.
Someone to protect beyond all other things.
I looked down the hill one more time as the morning sunlight scattered across the waves and felt its warmth caress me in the dappled light playing through the trees. I will return here when the need arises, but now I have work to do.
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